Oracle Of Ybor: ‘Disappointed in Dunedin’ should consider quitting her job, but not yet

Dear Oracle,

My ex started texting me after a long time. Does he still love me? I’m in a relationship now and not looking for anything, but I want to know.—Past Lives

Cards for what he thinks about you: Four of Wands, Seven of Swords, Waxing Gibbous

Cards for what you think about him: Knight of Pentacles (reversed), Ten of Pentacles (reversed), Four of Pentacles

Dear Past,

In stories of heartbreak, there is no character better to be than The One Who Got Away. To the heartbroken, The One Who Got Away takes on almost mythic qualities, all faults washed away and replaced with impossibly-perfect character. And if you are The One Who Got Away, you moved on, usually to something better and more secure. The poor heartbroken sucker is just someone in your rearview mirror. You are, arguably, the only winner in the situation. You got a happily ever after elsewhere and someone thinks you’re a golden god.

I think everyone knows what it’s like to be the one left pinning. It’s godawful. So, who among us wouldn’t get a little thrill discovering that someone out there is longing for us? But that joy comes at the expense of someone else’s pain. Unless you had a pretty acrimonious ending, do you really want someone you used to date to be alone and heartbroken forever?

I don’t know your ex or his intentions for texting you. I don’t know if he loves you now or even if he ever did. But I do think that, to him, you’re The One Who Got Away. With the marriage card of the Four of Wands and the protentional of the Waxing Gibbous, he might be reminiscing on what could have been, what your relationship was “meant” to become. And with the forking path of Seven of Swords, he might be considering that he made a mistake. (With this card, I also get the feeling that he’s the one that ended it.)

I think that, once upon a time, you expected to marry him, too. He was your secure Knight of Pentacles, someone to create a lasting legacy and family with, according to the Ten of Pentacles. But that was not the path taken. Now, you say you’re with someone new and not looking, and I believe you.

But the security-seeking Four of Pentacles raises some interesting questions. Do you want to be loved by this ex and your current partner? Would that put your current relationship into jeopardy (through jealousy or doubts that may arise)? Is there any chance that your ex is The One Who Got Away to you?

You asked me for information about this situation, not advice, but still, I offer this: tread carefully. The One Who Got Away is based on fantasy and hope, and any rekindling will quickly bring things back to reality. It may shake even the most secure foundations. Consider all possible outcomes before taking any further steps, including what’s best to be left to fantasy and what’s best for the real world.

Good luck, my darling.

Dear Oracle,

I started at my current job in 2020. In the past four years, I feel like I have given a lot to the company and have proven myself to be a valuable member of the team. The problem is my boss doesn’t seem to think so. I’ve been passed over for promotion twice, and while nothing ever comes up in my reviews, I feel like I’m just invisible to him. This might be sexism (I’m a woman in a male-dominated field) or it might be something else. But I know I’m good enough to be higher up than I am. What should I consider as I think about next steps?—Disappointed in Dunedin

Cards: Temperance, Two of Wands (reversed), The Fool (reversed), The Chariot (reversed)

Dear Disappointed,

You know, when I started this column (also deep in the pandemic times) I answered a lot of questions about work. People, by and large, were sick of their boss’s bullshit, and many wanted permission to quit and seek out greener pastures.

You, on the other hand, aren’t asking to quit, simply what to consider.

And I think you should consider quitting—though not yet.

With three major arcana cards, including two of movement, I think this is a big break that needs to happen, but you aren’t there yet emotionally, financially, or literally.

With Temperance as the only right-side-up card, I think you really need to temper your expectations of your boss. He might be a sexist piece of shit, he might be an unconscious sexist piece of shit but kind of a nice guy. It’s irrelevant. Things aren’t working and I don’t think that will change. Accepting that might free up more energy that you can direct towards yourself and something that gives you pleasure—like a more satisfying job.

As The Fool reversed shows, this job was a great launching pad for you, but that long-drawn Two of Wands suggests that you aren’t seeing the fruits of all that labor. With The Chariot also reversed, I think you’ll just keep hitting a wall at this place and need to drive onward in a different direction.

Of course, groceries are still mad expensive, so I don’t suggest quitting until you’ve found a new place to land. But, I do think you should start looking. Temperance is a patient card, so take your time in looking. (Better to find the right fit now than quickly jumping ship only to have to repeat the process in a year.) But do look. I’ve talked before about how The Chariot can drive us down the wrong path and spending all this energy on this bumbling villain of a boss will lead to burnout.

So start casting those nets. Find ways to care for yourself in the meantime to prevent burnout, and keep your expectations of your boss low. You’re working now to get out of this place, not to impress him.

Godspeed, baby.

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